Monday, August 29, 2011
Not enough time in the day...
Oh how i wish i could make more hours in a day. Even then I dont think i would have enough time to get everything done that i want to accomplish. There is always laundry, cleaning, errands, kids, etc. My little business I am trying to start is suffering because of it. I just can't find the time to sit down and make time for these little creations. I have so many ideas in my head and no time to make them a reality. i WILL find the time...sometime. LOL. With what all is going on with my daughter, i just dont know that i can handle the pressure to make everyone else happy with bows and blankets and jewelry. I guess i just need to MAKE time. and just stick to it. Stay up and hour or two after I put the kids down. I just can't handle this going to bed at midnight and getting back up at 6 or 6:30. But i think i can handle staying up til 11. I have got to get organized about all of the things going on in my life. When it comes to the kids and my hubby, they HAVE whatever they need WHEN they need it. Goodness, today might end up being a long day. I can't put off being productive...IT MUST START NOW
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Appointment time..
Got all call this morning from the doctor's nurse. Maggie goes next Friday, September 2nd for her scan of her skull. I don't really know what to hope for. The dr says she's pretty sure that her skull has already fused together and she may have been born with part of it already fused. So I am expecting those results. That he skull has fused together and that her brain doesn't have room to grow. So with that, I am expecting that she will need the surgery to give her brain room to grow. I am willing to do whatever needs to be done to protect my child and make her life better.
Lots of things have been going through my mind and most of them are silly little things that I dont need to be worried about at all. I am grateful that there IS a surgery to fix the problem and that my daughter isn't fighting for her life. I don't think I'm strong enough to deal with that. Dana Rucker, now that momma is strong and little Maddie is in my prayers. It's just hard. I AM thankful that this is something that can be fixed BUT i am terrified that my baby will have to be operated on.
Basically, from what i've gathered and been told, is that they will remove a small part of her skull to give her brain room to grow. I am assuming she will have to wear some sort of helmet to protect her head. Eventually a metal plate will be placed over the hole.
That brings up a WHOLE list of fears. Now there is the possibility that she could have not just one surgery but two. Ugh. And then...well i grew up an athlete and got SO excited when I found out that i was having a girl. I would LOVE for my boys to follow in their Daddy's footsteps and play baseball and football...whatever they want to do. I'll be happy as a clam if they want to play soccer too. BUT when I found out it was a girl, i was happy because i thought i could have a mini me. She could play soccer (or whatever she wants to play, seriously). But the fear that she wouldn't be able to be competitive physically. There are other things she can do. Piano, karate, any instrument. I just hate to think that she won't have the same opportunities that i had and that her brother will have.
Anyway, silly concerns for now. Let's wait for next Friday's test results and we can go from there...
God Bless my baby girl. Please keep her safe and keep your hands on her.
Lots of things have been going through my mind and most of them are silly little things that I dont need to be worried about at all. I am grateful that there IS a surgery to fix the problem and that my daughter isn't fighting for her life. I don't think I'm strong enough to deal with that. Dana Rucker, now that momma is strong and little Maddie is in my prayers. It's just hard. I AM thankful that this is something that can be fixed BUT i am terrified that my baby will have to be operated on.
Basically, from what i've gathered and been told, is that they will remove a small part of her skull to give her brain room to grow. I am assuming she will have to wear some sort of helmet to protect her head. Eventually a metal plate will be placed over the hole.
That brings up a WHOLE list of fears. Now there is the possibility that she could have not just one surgery but two. Ugh. And then...well i grew up an athlete and got SO excited when I found out that i was having a girl. I would LOVE for my boys to follow in their Daddy's footsteps and play baseball and football...whatever they want to do. I'll be happy as a clam if they want to play soccer too. BUT when I found out it was a girl, i was happy because i thought i could have a mini me. She could play soccer (or whatever she wants to play, seriously). But the fear that she wouldn't be able to be competitive physically. There are other things she can do. Piano, karate, any instrument. I just hate to think that she won't have the same opportunities that i had and that her brother will have.
Anyway, silly concerns for now. Let's wait for next Friday's test results and we can go from there...
God Bless my baby girl. Please keep her safe and keep your hands on her.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Prayers for Maggie
Ugh. To update everyone let me first say that I went to my doctor in Jackson Tennessee about my concerns and was told that my daughter was "normal". I have a few choice words for that lady! Anywho, Today I took Maggie Shea in for her 9 month check up.
When I arrived I was given a 10 month assessment to fill out. I marked "yes" for everything she should be doing as a 10 month old (at 9 months), PLUS she is walking. The doctor just could not believe she is so tiny and can walk.
Problem 1: Weight. I told the dr in Jackson that i felt like she should be gaining more than 1/2 pound or 1 pound a month. but lets start at the beginning...When she was born she was 7lbs 12oz. when we left the hospital she was 7lbs 7 oz. A week later she was 7 lbs 4 oz. Finally around 2 1/2 or 3 months she was finally back up to her birth weight. I asked the dr if she was growing normally (bc she just wasnt gaining like my boys did) and i was assured that she was doing just fine and she was in the 50th percentile for weight (and height). Well at her 6 month check up she was still in the 50th percentile...today she was in the 3rd. Yes, she went from 50th to 3rd in 3 months. The doctor today said that it could be a problem with her thyroid...So we get to go back in a month and i get to keep a detailed dietary journal until then. I pray everything goes well
Problem 2: her head is little. lol. yes. The doctor said that her head is very little for her age. she's just little all over. i mean she is 27 inches long and weighs 15 pounds. Heck, i was waiting for the day she'd hit 15 pounds!
Problem 3: Here is the whopper. The doctor was feeling around for Maggies soft spot. She rubbed all over her head for a good 5 minutes with no luck. The poor babys head was red when she was done. So now the fun (NOT) starts. The doctor is 90-95% sure that her skull has fused together (which shouldnt happen for like 8 more months). This means that her brain doesnt have room to grow. This could cause a number of things (none of them good). So i find out tomorrow when we get to drive to Nashville so they can put my daughter to sleep for this CT scan. I am not looking forward to that AT ALL. Depending on the results, she may have to have surgery. (again, i am not looking forward to that). They doctor today said she's pretty sure Maggie will need the surgery because there was not even the smallest indentation of a soft spot.
UGH, anyway, the thought of having to just put her to sleep for this test makes my stomach crawl. Not to mention the possibility of surgery. A very good friend of mine pointed out the positives. My daughter isn't dying, she doesnt have cancer, she's not fighting for her life. (Thanks Jess). But selfishly, she's MY baby. The last baby I will ever have. I just don't know what I would do if she wasnt in my life. When I see her with her brother...ugh. (I am typing through teary eyes at this point).
I am just asking for prayers. Pray that God knows what He is doing and guides these doctors in whatever may need to happen.
And I know that so many children have it worse so please dont tell me to suck it up and be thankful. I AM thankful for my children and I would die for them. It's just scary not knowing what is going on and what is going to happen. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and please take the time to say a little prayer. I will update everyone as soon as we have more information.
When I arrived I was given a 10 month assessment to fill out. I marked "yes" for everything she should be doing as a 10 month old (at 9 months), PLUS she is walking. The doctor just could not believe she is so tiny and can walk.
Problem 1: Weight. I told the dr in Jackson that i felt like she should be gaining more than 1/2 pound or 1 pound a month. but lets start at the beginning...When she was born she was 7lbs 12oz. when we left the hospital she was 7lbs 7 oz. A week later she was 7 lbs 4 oz. Finally around 2 1/2 or 3 months she was finally back up to her birth weight. I asked the dr if she was growing normally (bc she just wasnt gaining like my boys did) and i was assured that she was doing just fine and she was in the 50th percentile for weight (and height). Well at her 6 month check up she was still in the 50th percentile...today she was in the 3rd. Yes, she went from 50th to 3rd in 3 months. The doctor today said that it could be a problem with her thyroid...So we get to go back in a month and i get to keep a detailed dietary journal until then. I pray everything goes well
Problem 2: her head is little. lol. yes. The doctor said that her head is very little for her age. she's just little all over. i mean she is 27 inches long and weighs 15 pounds. Heck, i was waiting for the day she'd hit 15 pounds!
Problem 3: Here is the whopper. The doctor was feeling around for Maggies soft spot. She rubbed all over her head for a good 5 minutes with no luck. The poor babys head was red when she was done. So now the fun (NOT) starts. The doctor is 90-95% sure that her skull has fused together (which shouldnt happen for like 8 more months). This means that her brain doesnt have room to grow. This could cause a number of things (none of them good). So i find out tomorrow when we get to drive to Nashville so they can put my daughter to sleep for this CT scan. I am not looking forward to that AT ALL. Depending on the results, she may have to have surgery. (again, i am not looking forward to that). They doctor today said she's pretty sure Maggie will need the surgery because there was not even the smallest indentation of a soft spot.
UGH, anyway, the thought of having to just put her to sleep for this test makes my stomach crawl. Not to mention the possibility of surgery. A very good friend of mine pointed out the positives. My daughter isn't dying, she doesnt have cancer, she's not fighting for her life. (Thanks Jess). But selfishly, she's MY baby. The last baby I will ever have. I just don't know what I would do if she wasnt in my life. When I see her with her brother...ugh. (I am typing through teary eyes at this point).
I am just asking for prayers. Pray that God knows what He is doing and guides these doctors in whatever may need to happen.
And I know that so many children have it worse so please dont tell me to suck it up and be thankful. I AM thankful for my children and I would die for them. It's just scary not knowing what is going on and what is going to happen. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and please take the time to say a little prayer. I will update everyone as soon as we have more information.
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